For the last couple of months I have taken on a new role: housewife. This position is so underrated. It seems that not many people really knows what she does and the government does not acknowledge her by giving her a salary or any recognition. She takes on the role of mom, housekeeper, chef, secretary, landscaper, nurse/doctor, repair woman, entertainer, counselor, chauffeur, event planner, teacher, and depending on which housewife you ask there are are even more roles. Her job is 24/7! Those who work in corporate America leave their home and start the job at a time and when the day is over they leave their job at the work place. A housewife may leave the house to run errands and things however she lives and sleeps at her job everyday, so there is never a moment that she is not on the job. When your husband comes home from work his day ends while you are still working hard. All these things are done mostly taking care of others not herself. All of this and she will never be employee of the month, Teacher of the Year, Top Chef and etc. It does not mean that her husband does not appreciate her and what she does...its just that it seem her hard work and efforts are truly unnoticed because she does not work in corporate America and does not fall into some tax bracket.
If you ever came home to a clean home, had food on your table, clean clothes on your back, or gotten to or from the mall or other places with the help of your parents please tell them how much you appreciate it. Do something nice for them not just because it is Mother's day or Father's Day.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
Product of my environment
"I am not a product of my environment...my environment is a product of me." ~Me
"People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can't find them, make them." ~ Unknown (I think it belongs to George Bernard Shaw)
I have not ever had a silver spoon in my mouth. I did not always have the newest, flyest, or trendiest clothes. I had many misfortunes and downfalls growing up. My school was not ranked one of the top schools in the country let alone the city. Don't get me wrong my life was not completely terrible. I had many fun times, friends, laughs, smiles, and wonderful memories. It's just that I've been in the trenches and I know it is a place that I do not ever want to revisit. I have used every ounce of negative situations and short comings to prepare me for my future which is now my present. I refuse to let statistics dictate my life to me or determine the path that I would travel down. I refused to listen to what others thought would be the limit to my success; if that was success at all. People tend to set limits for others for two reasons: 1. They do not want that person to surpass their own achievements and 2. Jealousy and Envy. As ridiculous as it may seem....think about it.
I decided a long time ago to just do what I needed to do, to make things better for me. It was not always easy to go against the grain but I have never really been a conformist. I did what others would not do for me which was believe in myself. I know that I am the only person who can stand in my way of achieving whatever the task is. I made my goals and my plans to achieve those goals. I was determined to guarantee that I would end up in a place better than where I started.
As for my past, I am thankful for all it has taught me. It has taught me to appreciate all things, and be humble. I appreciate my past because I know everything in life will not be easy. It is my foundation. I am thankful for the hand that I have dealt. I do know that my current environment is as a result of own determination, success, and belief in myself.
"Nothing is impossible; there are ways that lead to everything, and if you have sufficient will you should always have sufficient means. It is often merely for an excuse that we say things are impossible." ~ Unknown (I think this one as well belongs to George Bernard Shaw)
"People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can't find them, make them." ~ Unknown (I think it belongs to George Bernard Shaw)
I have not ever had a silver spoon in my mouth. I did not always have the newest, flyest, or trendiest clothes. I had many misfortunes and downfalls growing up. My school was not ranked one of the top schools in the country let alone the city. Don't get me wrong my life was not completely terrible. I had many fun times, friends, laughs, smiles, and wonderful memories. It's just that I've been in the trenches and I know it is a place that I do not ever want to revisit. I have used every ounce of negative situations and short comings to prepare me for my future which is now my present. I refuse to let statistics dictate my life to me or determine the path that I would travel down. I refused to listen to what others thought would be the limit to my success; if that was success at all. People tend to set limits for others for two reasons: 1. They do not want that person to surpass their own achievements and 2. Jealousy and Envy. As ridiculous as it may seem....think about it.
I decided a long time ago to just do what I needed to do, to make things better for me. It was not always easy to go against the grain but I have never really been a conformist. I did what others would not do for me which was believe in myself. I know that I am the only person who can stand in my way of achieving whatever the task is. I made my goals and my plans to achieve those goals. I was determined to guarantee that I would end up in a place better than where I started.
As for my past, I am thankful for all it has taught me. It has taught me to appreciate all things, and be humble. I appreciate my past because I know everything in life will not be easy. It is my foundation. I am thankful for the hand that I have dealt. I do know that my current environment is as a result of own determination, success, and belief in myself.
"Nothing is impossible; there are ways that lead to everything, and if you have sufficient will you should always have sufficient means. It is often merely for an excuse that we say things are impossible." ~ Unknown (I think this one as well belongs to George Bernard Shaw)
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Do you really want it? (part 1)
You hear all the time that men and women discuss all the characteristics that want their mate to possess. However, what is happening is that we are asking for traits that we typically have not found in previous boyfriend or girlfriend. It is true that we do learn what do not want or need from previous but you may not exactly figure out what it is that you do need. I say be careful what you ask for because you just might get it.
It's like this. When you pray and ask for more patience, God does just "zap" and instantly more patience. God places you in situations that you will be tested and and through these trials and tribulations your patience increases, provided your heart is in the right place. So guys when you ask for a woman who keeps up with her appearance, athletic, has a good head on her shoulders, caring, and is family oriented you can find that woman however you have to understand with those traits comes responsibility.
A woman who keeps up with her appearance will more than likely will like to shop. She more than likely will not be getting ready in 5 minutes and will throw on a pair shoes that will compliment her jeans and tops on a regular basis so it will be necessary to let her when you are taking her to an event that will require sneakers and sweats. If she is athletic, you will have male friends. Not male friends that want to sleep with her but friends who just so happen to males. She will be competitive. She will have be a little more independent that your average woman because athletes typically aren't dependent on others; they are used to doing things for themselves. She will probably be a little more adventurous and not scared to get her hands dirty. A woman with a good head on her shoulders will know how to think for herself. She will be your "yes" girl. A "yes" girl is someone who will say yes to whatever you ask of her. She will also be independent (not independent to the point where she does not want a man in her life, she knows how to take care of herself.)
A caring woman will not just care about you. She cares about herself first, others, and causes. She is the woman is usually involved in her community and/or charity events. She gives of herself. She is not always going to just be available to you whenever you want her to because can sometimes live a busy life. She is not self righteous or self absorbed. A family oriented woman has a good relationship with her parents and siblings. They are close to their family. She likes to do things with her family and if you are in her life she will want you to join in those family events from time to time. She will make a good mother and is probably looking to have a family of her own to carry on and begin new traditions. She also can be very caring. She can more of the domestic type. On the other hand depending on her family she maybe be very needy because she could be used to other doing things for her. An educated woman will have thoughts and opinions of her own. You will not be thinking for her. She more than likely will be be goal oriented. She too may be involved in organizations and charity. She really doesn't like to waste time. Also she maybe adventurous. She may like to travel as well.
These are just a few traits to get you thinking. Understand what it is that you asking or looking for in a mate. Some people wants to have certain traits but truly do not like that that person once that find that person who does possess those certain traits because they do not understand what those traits mean. Think about it.
It's like this. When you pray and ask for more patience, God does just "zap" and instantly more patience. God places you in situations that you will be tested and and through these trials and tribulations your patience increases, provided your heart is in the right place. So guys when you ask for a woman who keeps up with her appearance, athletic, has a good head on her shoulders, caring, and is family oriented you can find that woman however you have to understand with those traits comes responsibility.
A woman who keeps up with her appearance will more than likely will like to shop. She more than likely will not be getting ready in 5 minutes and will throw on a pair shoes that will compliment her jeans and tops on a regular basis so it will be necessary to let her when you are taking her to an event that will require sneakers and sweats. If she is athletic, you will have male friends. Not male friends that want to sleep with her but friends who just so happen to males. She will be competitive. She will have be a little more independent that your average woman because athletes typically aren't dependent on others; they are used to doing things for themselves. She will probably be a little more adventurous and not scared to get her hands dirty. A woman with a good head on her shoulders will know how to think for herself. She will be your "yes" girl. A "yes" girl is someone who will say yes to whatever you ask of her. She will also be independent (not independent to the point where she does not want a man in her life, she knows how to take care of herself.)
A caring woman will not just care about you. She cares about herself first, others, and causes. She is the woman is usually involved in her community and/or charity events. She gives of herself. She is not always going to just be available to you whenever you want her to because can sometimes live a busy life. She is not self righteous or self absorbed. A family oriented woman has a good relationship with her parents and siblings. They are close to their family. She likes to do things with her family and if you are in her life she will want you to join in those family events from time to time. She will make a good mother and is probably looking to have a family of her own to carry on and begin new traditions. She also can be very caring. She can more of the domestic type. On the other hand depending on her family she maybe be very needy because she could be used to other doing things for her. An educated woman will have thoughts and opinions of her own. You will not be thinking for her. She more than likely will be be goal oriented. She too may be involved in organizations and charity. She really doesn't like to waste time. Also she maybe adventurous. She may like to travel as well.
These are just a few traits to get you thinking. Understand what it is that you asking or looking for in a mate. Some people wants to have certain traits but truly do not like that that person once that find that person who does possess those certain traits because they do not understand what those traits mean. Think about it.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Who's the hoe?
What is a hoe? Should someone be determined to be a hoe based off of how many people they have slept with? or the attitude about sexual intercourse? Is the term hoe only for one gender?Is there a cap on how many people a respectable woman should sleep with?
Here is my take on it. There is not one concise definition that has determined whether or not a person is a hoe. Some people base it on how many people a person has slept with or even what their attitude is about the number of people they sleep with, or how they "advertise" their sexual life. What seems to be consistent is the person has to have slept with someone.
Why does it matter how many people another person has been with? As long as before you decide to have sex you find out the other person sexual health (previous and current diseases) and are not passing something along why does it matter? When a man has sex with a woman his and her number increases. Everyone has had a life or history before they met you and at this day and age a sexual history unless the person is a virgin. A person's sexual history really only concerns you when you are apart of their history and when they have or had STD's. A person's history does not have to become your present.
A man or woman can become a hoe when all they want from someone is sex and they no longer care who they sleep with. They are looking for something other than sexual gratification i.e. money, material things. It's based off of how they carry themselves...with or without respect. Just because some people in society says a man and go around and have sex with whomever whenever, does not mean that he is not a hoe. A spade is spade in English just as it is in French. The sex does not change the classification.
When it comes to having sex remember to stay protected. Get tested regularly and if you are involved with someone get tested together...it helps alot. If you are not prepared to be a mother or father make sure you both people are protecting themselves. Nothing wrong with back up.
Here is my take on it. There is not one concise definition that has determined whether or not a person is a hoe. Some people base it on how many people a person has slept with or even what their attitude is about the number of people they sleep with, or how they "advertise" their sexual life. What seems to be consistent is the person has to have slept with someone.
Why does it matter how many people another person has been with? As long as before you decide to have sex you find out the other person sexual health (previous and current diseases) and are not passing something along why does it matter? When a man has sex with a woman his and her number increases. Everyone has had a life or history before they met you and at this day and age a sexual history unless the person is a virgin. A person's sexual history really only concerns you when you are apart of their history and when they have or had STD's. A person's history does not have to become your present.
A man or woman can become a hoe when all they want from someone is sex and they no longer care who they sleep with. They are looking for something other than sexual gratification i.e. money, material things. It's based off of how they carry themselves...with or without respect. Just because some people in society says a man and go around and have sex with whomever whenever, does not mean that he is not a hoe. A spade is spade in English just as it is in French. The sex does not change the classification.
When it comes to having sex remember to stay protected. Get tested regularly and if you are involved with someone get tested together...it helps alot. If you are not prepared to be a mother or father make sure you both people are protecting themselves. Nothing wrong with back up.
Emotions
Emotions are a crazy. They can make you do things you never dreamed of doing but at the same time can make you feel so alive. Do not react to situations based of emotions more than likely that is not the best response because you are not thinking so clearly, with the exception of when these are positive emotions. Reacting on negative emotions can cause you to lose friendships, relationships, and if they are not lost they can be drastically damaged. The best thing to do is to write your feelings down, take a moment to "woosah," and then address the situation with a level head. Blowing up with someone is not productive. It may feel good and yes, I am guilty of it, but in the end all it does is put the person on the defense and then before you know it, you are arguing over something petty or worse not talking to each other at all.
On the other side when you begin to develop feelings for someone, I say express those emotions. You can wait for the right time or place, but don't hold it in for too long. People often do not express emotions because of fear of becoming vulnerable. Fear that the other person does not share those same feelings for you. That is actually rare. Being vulnerable is not always a bad thing. It can be great. You discover parts of yourself that you never knew existed. You can open your heart to new possibilities. It's not taking a risk...it's taking a chance on having something something better. Men live as if they do not feel or have emotions but in reality they are the most sensitive of the genders. They are very careful with whom they actually share those feelings. So if a man, not a boy, has opened his heart and allowed to move into his heart, don't take it lightly. Appreciate and somewhat cradle those feelings. Women all this, "I am woman hear me roar" save that nonsense for a women's retreat. Let that man know that he lights up your life, he puts that smile on your face and just what exactly you feel for him.
Fear of not expressing your feelings can result in loosing a person as well. People become exhausted of giving of themselves and expressing themselves to never have a opportunity or possibility of more. They become guarded and protective and eventually shut the door on their heart so you can no longer occupy space that someone else wants and will appreciate.
On the other side when you begin to develop feelings for someone, I say express those emotions. You can wait for the right time or place, but don't hold it in for too long. People often do not express emotions because of fear of becoming vulnerable. Fear that the other person does not share those same feelings for you. That is actually rare. Being vulnerable is not always a bad thing. It can be great. You discover parts of yourself that you never knew existed. You can open your heart to new possibilities. It's not taking a risk...it's taking a chance on having something something better. Men live as if they do not feel or have emotions but in reality they are the most sensitive of the genders. They are very careful with whom they actually share those feelings. So if a man, not a boy, has opened his heart and allowed to move into his heart, don't take it lightly. Appreciate and somewhat cradle those feelings. Women all this, "I am woman hear me roar" save that nonsense for a women's retreat. Let that man know that he lights up your life, he puts that smile on your face and just what exactly you feel for him.
Fear of not expressing your feelings can result in loosing a person as well. People become exhausted of giving of themselves and expressing themselves to never have a opportunity or possibility of more. They become guarded and protective and eventually shut the door on their heart so you can no longer occupy space that someone else wants and will appreciate.
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